Learning to submit ❤️
By Lian Brook-Tyler
I’m naturally a leader and teacher, even though it took decades to fully accept it, meanwhile simultaneously (because shadow often works like this), for most of my life I have struggled to submit to someone else’s authority.
This used to be a more obvious refusal, my school years were particularly challenging because of this trait - at one point, I was banned from four different classes (PE, art, maths, and even my form class) because of my disruptive behaviour in the face of dictatorial teachers.
This refusal to submit to authority continued into my adult life, railing against and resisting even teachers I’d chosen.
A particularly fine example caught on video was me shouting to my martial arts sensei “Stop telling me what to do!” He was leaning on the ropes, advising me how to fight the man I was in the ring with.
And then 10 years ago, when I was blasted open to spirit upon the death of my father, and didn’t know what was happening or what to do with it, I felt the call to learn from people who seemed to be speaking about the things I was spontaneously experiencing - what might clumsily be described the eternal connection between all things.
I realise now that most of those teachers only had a theoretical knowledge of the perplexing terrain of oneness that I was floundering around within, they could hand me a map of sorts but couldn’t join me there to guide me.
And despite my choice to submit to them and their teachings, I still subconsciously resisted, and it would take a particularly astute person to see beyond the enchantment of my honesty, intellect, receptivity, devotion and charm.
Most couldn’t.
Even as I’ve become aware and worked to integrate so much of that resistant shadow, my nature still bedazzles and blocks people from really seeing me.
People tell me I could sell sand at the beach without even meaning to, just by reclining on it looking delighted to be there. I’ve been told that I make being buried overnight look like a walk in the park.
Even when I want to be a good student, my mesmerising disposition makes it a challenge.
As my shamanic teacher said only this week “You unintentionally hide in your openness.”
Thankfully he’s so perceptive (no coincidence his organisation is called Second Sight) that over time, he’s learned how to see me anyway. It’s such a gift to be truly seen that I cried when he said it.
This is the kind of person who I value beyond all measure, someone who can see past my luminescence to my unseen edges and call me beyond them.
I think I may have just found another… the female elder I consciously called in late Thursday night, I found her on Saturday morning - a British shaman with the same Devonshire heritage as mine - and I arranged a call with her immediately.
No “what if”, no “how”, just acting on what was aligned.
The old me would be astounded at my willingness to submit to another person.
This me knows it’s nothing to do with the human, it’s about submitting to the path that my soul came here for and that Spirit is placing in front of me, one ego-shattering, shadow-triggering step after another.
This me has finally learned that the only true submission is to Spirit.
And submit I will.
No matter what.
What or who are you being called to submit to?
Will you?
♥️
Art: Luis Royo
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