The Unmothered Women

By Lian Brook-Tyler

The women who are the best at mothering others, children and adults alike, are heartbreakingly often the very same women who are the best at abandoning their own inner little girl.

In addition to many of them actually being mothers, these women often do work and have lives that involve caring for others… Maybe she is your therapist, your step-mother who was more like a mother than your actual mother, your friend who listens and wipes away your tears after another break-up, your nurse, your teacher, your neighbour who loves your children like they’re her own grandchildren, your osteopath, your older sister who took you under her wing, or your Godsend PA.

They are wise, empathic, nurturing, loving, and attentive.

But even the idea of taking care of their own inner child feels like new age nonsense, an indulgence, an inconvenience, boring, or a hopeless task.

That’s just on the surface level though, below that is the very real yet hidden fear that the girl will experience whatever pain and shame she experienced back then that created the need to abandon herself to focus on how others feel instead.

Perhaps she is you.

It’s hard, sometimes terrifying, eventually beautiful work but today and every day, my wish for all of us is that we learn to mother that long-abandoned little girl at least as well as we mother the world.

All my love to you and to your girl.
Li


P.S. I wasn’t intending to write anything for International Women’s Day but it turned out that She, the Great Mother, had other ideas… She’s the one who can show the unmothered women how to be mothered.

Words: Li Brook-Tyler
Art: @kaethebutcher