The paradox of the autism label 🏷

By Lian Brook-Tyler

It’s so interesting having memories like this come up - ie written before the autism diagnosis in May ‘21.

To a large extent, I’d already accepted my quirks, and the experiences, gifts and challenges they’d created over my life, even though I hadn’t yet fully understood the reason for them.

The diagnosis for me was like winning the weirdest lottery in the world… a shock, a relief, and also something else I can’t quite name. I burst into tears when the psychiatrist told me, then an hour later celebrated with champagne.

In the year or so since, it’s a label I’ve both grown completely comfortable with and at the same time, don’t particularly identify with and have little use for personally.

For me, it’s simply an occasionally useful communication device to share if I’m asking for someone’s help who doesn’t know me (for example, if I call a call centre - which I’ll avoid doing if I can, as I’ll be on the edge of an autistic meltdown throughout!) or to explain why I’ve behaved in a way that’s atypical and that someone has misread and is feeling confused or hurt as a result.

But it’s a label that’s incredibly useful in terms of being my medicine in the world - helping others to be their unique gift and to shine as Love.

Rarely a week goes by without someone contacting me to say thank you for the difference me speaking openly about being autistic has made to their lives… at this point, I’ve lost count of the number of people who have realised they, a client or a family member is autistic, going on to have, what for them, is a life-changing diagnosis.

I wrote recently about being a pioneer, this is simply one of the ways I go first…

✨ Journeying through the challenges of being autistic in the modern world, which has little appetite for differences or real magic (the latter being much of the reason for the differences.)

✨Accepting the differences that come with being autistic (without knowing it was autism.)

✨ Being diagnosed as autistic leading to greater understanding for myself and others.

✨ Finally, not needing the autistic label but using it for good when I can anyway.

Like many things in life, especially labels, the autism label is connecting and expansive until it isn’t, sometimes it will be separating and limiting.

The trick is to look at what brings us closer to both true individuation and deep union… and let that be our compass.

Pic: a very old one of me, pre-diagnosis and still struggling with my differences though you wouldn’t know it - I masked well.

 
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