What would you do if you weren’t so scared of people laughing at you?

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Episode Transcript:

Lian Brook-Tyler 01:10
Hello, my beautiful people a huge warm welcome back to the show. In today's crazy modern world, men and women are living in shallow, disconnected and unfulfilling lives. So we created the path for those who are ready to reclaim their wildness and actualize their deepest gifts. The next waking the wild crucible to open will be waking the world sovereign in early 2023. And it always sells out. So if you are feeling the call to sovereignty, and to actualizing, your inner king or queen archetype, then go register your interest now and you'll be the first to hear when we open for application. And the link for that is primal happiness.co/wtws. And now on to this week's show. It's with Steve Sims, quoted as the real life Wizard of Oz by Forbes and Entrepreneur magazine. I love that Steve is a best selling author of blue fishing the art of making things happen. He's also a sought after coach and a top rated speaker in the US. And he has keynoted at all sorts of places including the Pentagon and Harvard twice. He's also the founder and CEO of the luxury concierge service bluefish. He's worked with Elton John and Elon Musk, seven people down to see the wreck of the Titanic on the seabed and managed to get the museum in Florence, Italy that houses the most famous sculptor on Earth, the statue of David to shut down in order to host a private dinner for his client at the foot of the statue with Andrea Bocelli, serenading them whilst they ate their pasta. So in this show, we explored the question, what would you create if you weren't afraid of being laughed at? We spoke about cancel culture, the lack of true conversation, how we kill our dreams when other people mock us, and why those people are rarely the ones to take notice of. And lastly, why and how you can go for stupid. I absolutely loved this conversation, the energy that Steve brings, and how inspiring it was to think about what would be possible if we weren't being stopped by the fear of being laughed at. I think you're gonna love this episode. Let's dive in. Hello, Steve, welcome to the show.

Steve Sims 03:41
It's a pleasure to be here. Thanks for having me.

Lian Brook-Tyler 03:43
Yeah, I'm already really loving the energy actually, I feel like despite if he first thing in the morning, you're bringing all of the vibe already.

Steve Sims 03:52
I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try. It's a little bit early for me in Los Angeles here. But hey its you, I got to do what I got to do.

Lian Brook-Tyler 03:59
Oh, thank you. Thank you. I do appreciate it. So as I was just saying, I saw a post that you wrote that was related to your new book, and it really captured my attention. And as I said, this is probably me paraphrasing, but you said something like, what would you create if you weren't afraid of being laughed at? And I think I mean, I think that's a really powerful question anyway. But my sense is, at the time that I saw you write, that I've been in this, I guess, inquiry myself of realizing there are still places that I was holding back for this kind of sense of and you know, like most of us, I've had sort of experience my life I was like, bullied and you know, made fun of, and I realized this is part of me that was like, Oh, if I say that, we'll do that. I'll be mocked. And and I think I was already in that sort of contemplation and then saw your post and I was like, Ah, that's a conversation I really want to have with Steve? So here we are.

Steve Sims 05:05
It's a strange It's a strange one. And it's a strange one a scary one, a toxic one. And sadly getting worse.

Lian Brook-Tyler 05:13
Yes, yes. Just to give it a little bit of background, for 25 plus years, I was probably the most connected person in the planet that nobody knew. And I worked with billionaires and some millionaires. So it was all about communicating what did they need, but it was all about speaking with people having a conversation communication. Now, then this thing called COVID came across. And all of a sudden, we couldn't go out to the pub, we couldn't go down to the coffee shop, we couldn't stand in line for a bus. And everyone's complaining that we were losing the ability to connect. Well, here was the dumb thing. We weren't connecting before COVID, you know, you would stand in a coffee shop. And if someone started to have a conversation with you in a coffee shop, you looked at them like they were an alien. So COVID came across, and all of a sudden, we were universally for the first time in history had a common problem, even during the world wars, the depression, the plague, you know, we could we could cold call anyone from Korea to to Philadelphia to London or Paris, South Africa, Iceland, anywhere in the planet, you could phone up and the second person I picked up the phone, you could say hey, how's COVID treating you? And they would have a response. Now, we've never had that in a world war. We've never had that during the pandemic. We've never had that ever before. But during a time when we were connected with a single issue, we start attacking each other. And some of the biggest riots, marches, protests erupted during COVID politics war, we started also to produce two things which really upset me, the cancel culture and the gotcha society. We wanted to we wanted to look at you and go hang on a minute. I remember when you dressed up as a panda in 1983. You know, how dare you you're so ignorant to the to the feelings and the woes of pandas. I'm gonna cancel your career.

Steve Sims 07:27
We joke about it, but that's what's happened. Yeah. And the downside is, if I stand here, and I go, metoo, Trump, Asian hate, Black Lives Matter, war, if I say any of those things, people out there have a triggered record simply that triggered because it affects you, it gives you an emotive response. But when it was in the past, you would go hey, I don't agree with Trump or I do agree with Trump or I don't agree with this I do. Now we're actually terrified to say anything, in case someone gets that snippet and throws up as a boomerang on social. so what's happened, we're not frightened of failing, we're frightened of speaking, we're frightened of communicating, and there's nothing worse than actually (or in our heads), there's nothing worse than people laughing at it, laughing at us. And that's the downside. That's what I wanted to disrupt. It was about two and a half years ago, that this started to happen. And it bothered me. And I started throwing out social memes and social quotes, trying to poke the bear trying to get people to stop this. I could see it happening. And I was like, Hey, why are you laughing at people? Why aren't you challenging people? Why aren't you supporting people? Why are you getting your shits and giggles by mocking other people that are trying? Yeah, what frickin hell's wrong with you? And I started to put these memes out. And they started getting, to be blunt, a little bit ruder, and a little bit more violent, because it was really upsetting me, when we were almost looking around to see what statute can we pull down now? You know, yeah, who can we knock off the pedestal? You know, we were looking for that. It was like, an Olympic sport. And then someone said to me, you know, put it into a book. And I started doing some research. And he started to come to me. We laugh at people were very quick to laugh at people, and I'm gonna I'm gonna pick on you here. How many times in your past life? Have you been having coffee or wine or drink or a meal with a group of friends? And you start talking about your goals and aspirations? And you're saying, Hey, I'm gonna do this and then I've read this book, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna do and then it's gonna grown into, I'm gonna impact 1000s And someone at your table suddenly glazes over like a deer in headlights and they're like, Have you gone crazy? Are you mad? And what do you do at that time you dilute your dream you go, Oh, I'm sorry. Someone must have spiked my coffee. I was having a crazy moment. Don't mind me, I'm back. And we dilute our dreams, for fear those people at our table nine times out of 10 our in air quotes, friends laughing at us. Yet on the same side of the fence, every one we revere today, everyone we idolize today, Steve Jobs, Larry Page, John Porter Julia, Richard Branson, Elon Musk. Absolutely every single one of those people drempt A stupid, ridiculous goal. And then reverse engineered how to make it happen. Larry Page said, we need to communicate. Google, Steve Jobs couldn't write code per said, we need to make an easier way that we can compute Elon Musk, I don't like the way banks work. I'm gonna disrupt the banking world. I've got no qualifications. But I'm gonna do it anyway. Anyone we've revered did stupid, ridiculous things, and achieved and we look at them like gods. But when our buddy turns around and says, Hey, I've got this space shop, the works, but I know just Volkswagens. And I'm gonna scale it and I'm gonna open up a franchise. We're very quick to dismiss it and giggle and laugh and mock them. And that's sad today.

Lian Brook-Tyler 11:27
Yeah, yes so Oh, my goodness, there's so much there that you've just said that. I'm like, oh, gosh, yes. And I think even more toxic is how that becomes like an inner voice. So we don't even then speak out loud. Like you said, you know, it's like, the fear is actually speaking, because the inner voice will kind of get there first. Like, they'll laugh. Therefore, I'm not even going to say it's, we're actually like, doing that to ourselves. If we don't then, you know, to stop ourselves being laughed at by others. It's funny that you mentioned Steve Jobs, I'd said to a client yesterday, has got a really big dream. And she said something like, you know, I'm wondering that, you know, who am I to? You know, who do I think I am to have this and I quoted that last line of Think Different quote, where Steve Jobs says something like the the ones who think they're crazy enough to change the world are the ones that do. Yep. Classic. Yeah, it feels so of this whole energy we're talking about. So a couple of things I'd love to ask you. Firstly, is,

Steve Sims 12:30
Can I stop you just one second, because you said something vitally important, which I don't want people to overlook. You said that most of the time, the conversations that we're not having, are actually with ourselves. And that's, that's the first step. Those people out there mocking you. They're gonna mock, they're gonna jeer, I won't say a dear friend of mine, but a gentleman that I know well, Elon Musk said they laugh at you before they applaud. Now, the trouble is, before you're willing, before you're committed to have that conversation with other people, you've actually got to have the conversation in the mirror with yourself. What do You want? What is the point of your actions? What impact are you looking to create? Why can you do it? What do you need to make it happen? You need to have that conversation with yourself. And while we're scared of having conversations with other people, that little doubt in the back of our head, usually kills any conversations we have with ourselves first.

Lian Brook-Tyler 13:31
Yeah, I'm so glad you added that, because I think that's, that's exactly right. It's like if we can't even get past that, what you said that little monster in our head? We're not even gonna get to the point of you now to put it out there. So one of the questions that I wanted to ask was, you talked about how you started to see this happening. And felt this kind of sense of like, you know, this isn't right, I've started creating all these memes. What was it in you like, why was this particularly feels like a kind of real personal passion and mission for you to do something about that? Why is that? But actually, that is my stupid goal. You see, the book itself is called go for stupid. And everyone should have a stupid goal. My stupid goal is to change the way people are communicating. Now, I was traveling on a flight every single month, and I have been doing that for like 20 years. And traveling is fun, but it really gets labourious. So when COVID came across, I was all of a sudden going hang on a minute. I don't have to travel. I don't have to drive to work. Anyone that I'm trying to connect with. They also can't travel so I can easily get hold of them. It was like being given three extra days a week. You know, I was getting a 10 day week. And literally when COVID happened to me, I'm living up here in Los Angeles, I'm up in the hills with my dog with my wife with my family. I rejoiced. I rejoiced very, very early on, excuse me, when COVID hit and there was the clamp down. I got to just connect with my family and go, Hey, how are we doing? You know, we started our business 10 years? Is it where I wanted it to be? Am I who I wanted to be? Am I doing what? Uh, so we started question now. And I was in awe of the fact that I had so much time because hey, we can make more money, we can make more impact. But we still eluded from the fact that we can't actually make more time. So I all of a sudden, COVID gave it to us. And then what did we see on Facebook? We saw people going, Hey, I'm stuck in my house. What can I binge watch on Netflix? You know, I've just finished Ozark what, I just watched sopranos. What else can I ask myself, people are literally moving towards wasting their life. And I thought we've been given a we've been given a precious gift here of time. Now, I know a lot of people went through pain. I know a lot of people lost loved ones. But universally, it was a time when we can actually ponder and reflect and go, Hey, the whole world has stopped. The whole world has had a pause button hit. This was a beautiful time for us to reflect on our relationships, our focus, our impact, and it annoyed me that it was going the wrong way. And it only got worse. The rumors, the controversy, you know, the conspiracy theories, fake news, cancel culture protests in this. I thought this was terrible. We were actually starting to attack each other. Now as human beings. We want to have what we're having. We want to have a conversation. And I want to have a conversation I want to hear you go, well steve, I don't fully agree with that. And I want to be able to go, why not give me your point of view? You know, let's talk you through. Show me where you're seeing that statement from. That's gonna help me grow. But with all of these things going on, we decided to have no conversation and of course, marry that to something called technology. And what's the number one technology out there at the moment? Ai? K. I said to my my son the other day, and said, Hey, turn the air conditioning down. He walked past the Nest thermostat picked up his phone. Hey, Siri, turn the aircon down. And and it turned the air conditioning down. He walked past the bloody thing to use AI and that kind of stuff. That guy just said Siri on my phone suddenly opened up! Yes, ridiculous. Because we're getting used to barking orders. Whether it be Amazon, I need toilet roll. Alexa, do this. Siri, put the music on. Yo, siri find me my local pizza, whatever. Because we're so used to bark in those orders. We are losing the ability to converse. And I think that that's a danger. Yeah. Yes. That I really love that. So this actually links nicely to the other thing that I wanted to ask you, as you were talking earlier about cancel culture and this almost like a lack of conversation. Ironically, people had more to talk about but there was less actual conversation that was just a lot of talking out and at. How do you see it's a hard question to. So there's the kind of being willing to almost like put your head above the parapet to actually have a conversation to say your view and be open to have a conversation in response. And then potentially you could say the wrong thing. And then as you say, you've got that kind of backlash that happens. I would love to hear what you your sense of kind of like where that kind of like, need to like mock and laugh at comes because there's a kind of, there's tearing down part of it as in you know, just making people wrong, shaming them saying you're a bigot, whatever the thing is, but again, going back to that really the theme of this conversation around being laughed at. I'd love to hear you say a bit more about that specifically, like what what where does that come from? And I guess why do you feel that that aspect in particular is an important one to focus on?

Steve Sims 19:55
There was a statement they used to fly around a few years ago there were Hey, what would you do today? If you knew you couldn't fail? You know, we've all heard that statement. I've always hated that statement. Because I guarantee you, the people on this or in this show at the moment, definitely me, maybe you, we don't know each other well enough, have been broke, have lost money, have lost relationships have got involved in bad deals, we've made mistakes. And every time we've made those mistakes, we've learned how to do a better deal, how to have a better conversation, how to focus on our relationships, how to be more careful with our money, how to plan better, how to get better structure and infrastructure. So every time something goes wrong, that becomes our learning curve. So when you say what would you do this week, if you knew you couldn't fail? Well, where's the education in that? It's like someone that wins the lottery and has now got a million dollars in their bank account, giving you financial advice, the only advice they can give you is go buy a ticket from the gas station. That's the only thing that they can tell you. So having the ability to fail that education, I've always loved that. Now the trouble with the laughter aspect. That's been in US innately since we were kids, do you remember when you were at school, and like all entrepreneurs, we were aggravated, we were aggravated, we were agitated. We were curious. Don't ever lose that. That's your magic sauce. And we sit them in the class and the teacher stands up, says something and we don't get it. And what do we do? We go Hey, miss, I don't understand that. What are all the other kids do? If you ask it twice? They turn around and laugh don't they. So what do we do? We still don't understand it. But do we ask a third time? No, we go well, I'm not gonna ask the third time because I asked the second time, and I've got Dorethy saying - aah Steve, you're so stupid. You don't get it. I don't get it. You know, but the bottom line of it is that's not my job is the teacher's job to help me get it. But we learn from a very young age, keep your head down, don't stick out. We're taught to follow. We're taught to stand in line, we're taught to be employed. And that's where it's different. We are the decisive movers. We are the people with a crazies that think we're going to do it and then challenge ourselves to do it. When we're in this concept at the moment where we need to get woke, we need to understand about this matter. We need to respect this situation. We can't be ignorant to this. We need to focus on that innate core of us, which makes us want to laugh at anything. I'll give you a very horrible example. Do you do you have a car? Yes. Do you have a truck? No. Okay. What car you got? It's a mini electric. Alright, would you swap it for a truck? No. Do you like trucks?

Lian Brook-Tyler 23:16
Not especially I don't think it's my kinda vibe. Do you remember when Elon Musk unveiled his cyber truck? Yes. Did you see any of it? A little bit of it? Yes. I think there was. Yeah, something went wrong. But I can't remember.

Steve Sims 23:34
Where were you? Where were you live?

Lian Brook-Tyler 23:36
Just outside London in the Hertfordshire countryside.

Steve Sims 23:40
Okay, so let's break this down. Elon Musk unveils a cyber truck in Los Angeles. You're the other side of the water. You have no interest in a truck. You don't want a truck. You don't want to buy a truck, but you're still aware. And you saw some of him unveiling that truck. Okay, now, in the two hour seminar, a webinar he did of that truck. He sold out every single order, before he sets up one nut. Can you imagine selling now of every product you've got before you've even started manufacturing it? Wow. Now that's pretty damn good, isn't it? Yeah. Marry that to the fact that he got the attention. And I've used that example from Korea, China all over the place. And it's the exact same answer. No, I don't want a truck but yeah, I saw it. So you know about it. You're not the target market, but he managed to capture the attention of people around the planet that never even had an interest in his products. As an entrepreneur, tell me that's not brilliant. He caught your attention. He sold out of every product before he even built up anything to build the thing. And then he tested the bulletproof glass by throwing a rock at it. And if you remember what happened,

Lian Brook-Tyler 25:14
I can't I know that something went wrong, but I can't remember what I'm guessing it went through the glass

Steve Sims 25:20
It went through the glass. Okay, the bullet proof glass broke. The following day, the newspapers, as you know, because you've just said it. The newspapers all over the world, mocked Elon, for the breaking of the unbreakable glass. We didn't revere him for capturing the attention of the planet. We didn't revere him for selling out of every single product before he was started manufacturing him. But we didn't. We didn't revere him for building something which has never been seen before. You know, the seats were different. The compasses, the engine was to everything was different. He basically reinvented the wheel. We didn't stand up and applaud. We found a way to knock him off his pedestal, we found a way to jeer him. And that's the society we're in today. We've got too many lemons out there. We've got so many people that are ready to laugh or whatever you say. And the downside is, you're listening to them. You're the one who's sitting there going, Oh my God, I don't want to escape. I remember years ago, I was working at a major event, working for the luxury brand Ferrari in Monaco. And someone said to me, no, I'd been in a black T shirt and jeans, all my life from East End of London, Bangkok, Geneva switch all over the world. And now here in LA, I'm always in a black t shirt and jeans. And here I am today, black T shirt and jeans. I've got a bunch of motorcycles, and I've got no car. Everywhere I go, I'm on two wheels with a crash helmet in my hand. Okay, I was in Switzerland, and someone turned around to me and they went, Hey, you're going to that party. And I said, Yeah, I'm throwing the party, but also I'm going to these other events, and they went, and you're going like that, to Monaco, you're you're gonna dress like that. And it caught me. And I self doubted myself. And I suddenly bought suits, and ties. Now here was the dumb thing. I was listening to a man that wasn't even invited. I was listening to a man that couldn't even get into the parties. I had got invited. And I'm in a blank t shirt and jeans. And I'm listening to someone who had absolutely nothing to do with the events. I was listening to the wrong person, I learned that they powerful lesson during that event, but I am not going to sell out as me. I'm going to have conversations with me on what I want, and what I demand and my standards, and the person laughing at you. Bear in mind nine times out of 10 is terrified, you're going to achieve it and prove them to be inadequate to do so.

Lian Brook-Tyler 28:17
It is like You read my mind because what you've just shared, goes some way to answering what I'm about to ask you. But I'm still going to ask you because I feel there's more here that's gonna be really helpful. Well, for me, actually as well as the listeners so you until you told that story I was thinking, its actually hard to imagine Steve having that sense of oh, I don't want people to laugh at me you can you give the impression so So confidence so bursty with life, that it just be like water off a duck's back. So that in itself was really interesting to hear that, you know, just like with everything else, that's something you've needed to learn. So, you know, each of us are going to have like, you know, varying degrees of sensitivity to that kind of thing. And I'm guessing, you know, the people you've been in conversation with about this, some people do feel this sense of like, ah, you know, the thought of putting myself out there to be mocked, is still excruciating. Like I can hear everything that Steve says, and I agree with it. And yet, it still feels so hard to do. What would you say? What would you say? What, what's the what's the way forward from there?

Steve Sims 29:32
So, there's a simple rule of thumb that I was taught by a very, very powerful entrepreneur. And he said to me, and I'll apologize in advance. He said, the first time you do anything, it'll be shit. That's the mantra of the first time. How many how many podcasts? Have you done? Oh, it's coming up to 400 Have you ever dared to listen to the first one you ever did?

Lian Brook-Tyler 29:58
I haven't no Now you've got a bunch of string, you've got a bunch of string instruments in the back. Okay? Can you play them? Are they? Because actually they were my late father's. So they're kind of like art and His Spirit.

Steve Sims 30:18
But can you imagine what he was like the first time he tried to play that. So the first time we try anything, it'll be shit. So when we try these kinds of, and we get these doubts, and we get into trouble again, that's where the education is, had I not been challenged to change myself, in order to appeal to a wider market, which I did, that was the dumb thing, I'd turned up at this event, because I was well known to this event, because I'm wearing a handmade Suit, and I've got a $50,000 watch on because I am visually looking successful, I started to get people wanting to talk to me, that to them, that was important. So they weren't connecting with me, they were connecting with my car with my watch with my suit. Now, that really upset me. So when I discovered that hang on a minute, I've got a lot of clients, I have zero connection with, suddenly started realizing that was a trade off, you've got to go through those bad things to understand, what you've always got to do is you got to ask yourself, where's the root of that conversation? And that's a very, very important thing. If I'm walking down the road, and I'm looking at a, I don't know, a new car, a new business, I'm trying to do something, I could just be thinking of something and I'm talking about a concept that I want to do. If someone laughs at me, before you accept before you accept and receive that laughter. Look at the destination and the source that is coming from and ask yourself, should I be listening to that person? Should I be hearing that comment? Okay, the person that is jeering at you is probably the same person who is going to serve you coffee at the drive thru tomorrow. So should I be listening to that person about business advice? Should I be listening to the lottery winner about financial growth? You know, should I be listening to someone that's never tried a business? Should I be listening to them about how to run a business suddenly what starts to happen, you start deflecting. And it's very easy. I get hate mail? How do you feel about dealing with Powerful people? How do you sleep with yourself? Your Travel, you're so lucky, why don't you donate into save the squid? You know, if I get a lot of people that come to me like this. And I just bat it away as as white noise. Because the source doesn't benefit me now. Every now and then I'll get a friend of mine. They'll contact me and they'd be like, Steve, I saw you doing this. Why are you doing that? Now, who's the source? It's someone that I respect. Someone that's in a position of strength in my head, and empowerment that we become bonded. Now they're asking me that question. I'm like, Oh, my God. Why am I this is why I'm doing it. And this, and you start working now. That's a challenger. No, I believe that, you

Lian Brook-Tyler 33:36
A worthy challenger.

Steve Sims 33:38
Yeah. cheerleaders are great. Those people to go, Oh, I love you. Your fantasy. Your wonderful cheerleaders look great in their outfits. But that's about as useful as it is, it doesn't help your life. But you do need those friends that challenge you. And I'll tell you a story. Have you heard of a guy called Jay Abraham? Yes. Right. So Jay is a buddy of mine. He actually is actually the first testimony on the back of the book. I love that boy. And I had this concept. I don't know, four or five, maybe even six years ago, time flies. And it was a brilliant deal. And it was gonna make me a multimillionaire just from that deal. And I said, Jake, this, I found it. I discovered this. I've got this piece Anyway, come on over, we'll open up some whiskey and we'll run through it. This is Jay Abraham, you know, I'd go over there to talk to him about the color of wallpaper. It's just a brilliant brain to be in a room with. So I go over to his house. I unload all of this documentation. I've got print off some PowerPoints and projections. I lay it all out and I go through with him with all my excitement and passion about this wonderful project. And I said so what do you think? And he just looks at me and smiles. And then he said to me is that it? And that was it. That was all he said. And,Jay, you know, we've just spent an hour going through this deal. And he went, No, no, no, I heard I heard this. But a couple of things just aren't adding up to me. And I said, Well, what are they? Now again, I'm gonna listen to this man because I revere him. And it sounded when he went, with your connections, with your passion, with your crew credibility with your experience. This was a beautiful line that just expected you to go for a little bit more than that. Oh. And I suddenly realized I hadn't gone big enough. I hadn't dreamt big enough. And he looks at me went, why are you putting a ceiling on this? Why are you limiting the ability to scale that? Why are you holding yourself back on this expansion over here? You know, I want to know why you're sitting down on this. And I suddenly realized, and that was a powerful thing. I suddenly realized that we need to dream big. Elon Musk, I want to go to the moon. Right? How do you do it? Well, first of all, I've got to get a rocket to get me there. So how do I get a Rocket? Well, I build a rocket, where do I build the rocket? Well, in Hawthorne, California, you have just stepped back from where your destination is going to be. So for me now, I always try to surround myself, and this is going to be a tough lesson for anyone out there. This is a tough thing to do. Look at your circle. And ask who takes? Who gives? Who challenges? And who mocks? I look at your circle of people, because we've all got friends. Well, I will say gladly, I don't. But we all had friends that we've known since high school or college or, you know, from the neighborhood. And I well, you know, he's my buddy, because you know, I've known him for 20 years, well, I'm kind of guessing he was a prick 20 years ago, as well. So get rid of the people out of your life that are not adding to it. And also at the same time when you're willing to be as direct as that start being the person that your friends want to keep in that circle?

Lian Brook-Tyler 37:12
Hmm. Yeah, gosh, it's, it is actually I was thinking back over the times where I've had that and it doesn't tend to happen in my actual life, as in, you know, real life circle. If I get that kind of mocking, judging kind of response, it tends to be in social media. And just like you're saying, when, when that's happened, I noticed it's people who don't really seem too happy with their own lives. And then I was thinking, and the other thing I noticed is, the people who I do recognize are doing, you know, big, exciting things with their life. It's just not even in their awareness to be looking at other people mocking they just don't have the time energy space for that. It's just why why would you spend your time doing that, but I certainly don't spend my time doing that to other people. And, and so you're completely right. It's like the logic of listening to people who would, you know, find that you know, of interest to engage with you in that way? It makes no sense at all. It's very, you know, seductive that you need to take notice of them. But you're quite right. It makes no sense.

Steve Sims 38:29
It doesn't. as I say my stupid goal for this book, is to get people to go for stupid. Now, there's a reason I'm asking you to go for stupid and not the impossible. A lot of people turn around and go, Well, I'm gonna go for the impossible. Why? You've already said it's impossible. Yeah, I'm gonna go for this dead end. I'm gonna go for this. End of Cliff, you know, you've already stated there's a finite end to it. If you go for something as stupid and ridiculous. You dream bigger. And in today's world, we don't dream well enough. So my stupid goal for this book is to get people to do stuff out of that comfort zone. And I want to start movement. I want to do everyone hashtag go for stupid. I want people to dare to look at what they're doing and go hang on a minute. How can I make this ridiculous? How can I have a stupid job? I've got a business. I want to make a million dollars. Why don't I go for a stupid goal of five fail and make two and a half? You know, I want people to go for stupid audacious, ridiculous goals. And I actually went I would love to say that the problem is old today. The problem with today is it's easily amplified because of social. Okay, but we were this bad down in the days. Henry Ford how to protest get this then there's this historic period periods in this book where we talk about famous things that today we couldn't live without, but were literally protested and mocked. As ridiculous concept, and they tried to get Henry Ford not to build the car, and you know the reason behind it, let this is it and this is truthful, and you can check it out. The reason they they blocked Henry Ford from doing the car was because they said my horse can go through the woods, your car can't. And you're gonna you're gonna love this you're gonna love this one. The candle society and the candle makers union tried to block Edison doing the light bulb, you're gonna love this reason, because of safety. The Fire of London was never caused by a light. It was you know, candles, you know, and constant burning. So it's ridiculous how we've gone through this, it isn't a new problem. But if we're going to stand up and go, Hey, we need to metoo, Black Lives Matter. Asian hate? Well, let's actually start standing up to having a conversation and mockery and start changing that and being open to that. And I think it's up to us to stand up and go, Hey, if you think I'm inappropriate, yeah, grab your snipping knock your meme up. I don't care. Because I'm gonna be one of the crazy people that does.

Lian Brook-Tyler 41:16
Yeah, yes. Oh, my goodness. So the time is absolutely whizzed by. And so what would you suggest in terms of listeners who are hearing this and feeling that sense of kind of, oh, yes, I want to go for stupid. What would you suggest, as some, you know, like, what could be that kind of first crazy act, that first thing they do? First thing they try, that allows them to kind of take even just a step in this direction.

Steve Sims 41:47
What a beautiful thing is, and again, just a shallow plug on the book is at the end of every chapter, I actually have a workbook to help you actually do that. And you say about the big goals, the big goals haven't got to be big. To start with the goals we've got to do, I've just got to be out of your normal, you've got to recognize it. I'll give you a quick example. When you go down to a car dealership, and you see this strange color car, and you think, who the hell would ever buy that color car? I've never seen that color car before. What's the only color of car you see when you're driving down the road the following day? It isn't, yeah. Why? Because your mind has been opened to that color. It's always been there. But now your mind can see it. When we train your mind to be open to doing audacious ridiculous goals. It's the only thing it can see. So we will actually train you how to start off small, and then how to go for big but starting training your head, your mindset, your persona, your belief and your confidence to actually go for something that you normally wouldn't. And now is definitely within your realm of possibility.

Lian Brook-Tyler 42:58
Oh, I love that so much. Yeah, that feels so exciting. So where can listeners find out all about you and the book that you have? So beautifully pluged.

Steve Sims 43:12
So I'm actually I'm really easy to get I'm a Steve D Sims absolutely everywhere. One D for dashing one M in Sims, Stevedsims.com Steve D Sims on any social platform. Or you can go and goforstupid.com. And you'll learn about the book and a pretty little offer that we've got going on. It's out now it's also on Amazon, but probably the best place to goforstupid.com.

Lian Brook-Tyler 43:39
Brilliant, such a great title as well. Thank you so much, Steve. I feel like even though it's like your morning and my evening, I feel like you've been this kind of like shot of caffeine during my afternoon. I had fun here. Thank you. Thank you very much. Oh, thank you so much. The real pleasure. Oh, wow. I love that. Here are my takeaways. I loved what Steve said about needing to have the conversation with ourselves about our dreams first. Often we can be the first person to mock ourselves instead how about we become the first person to acknowledge ourselves for our dreams. People will almost certainly laugh at you especially to begin with the choices whether to take notice of them or listen to the people whose opinion you respect. Steve's car analogy was a great one. I wonder what live would create if we made it natural for us to go fish stupid. If you'd like to get the notes and links for everything we spoke about this week, do one over the show notes and there at primal happiness.co/episode383 And as I said earlier, the next crucible will be opening is waking the world sovereign early next year. And so if you are feeling the call to sovereignty and actualizing, your inner king or queen archetype, then go register your interest now and you will be the first to hear when it opens the application link for that is primal happiness.co/wtws. If you don't want to miss out on next week's episode, head on over to Apple podcast Stitcher, or your app of choice, hit that subscribe button and that way you'll get each episode straight to your device automatically as soon as it comes out. Thank you so much for listening. You've been wonderful. Get through again next Tuesday.

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