The terrifying gift you are

By Lian Brook-Tyler

(A post from March 2019)

This week, two separate clients told me that they hate me*...

I understood why.

Becoming present to the possibility of the gift that we are can feel like The Most Terrifying Thing On Earth.

I felt it this week myself too.

Last week, I wasn't fully honouring my cycle and was doing All The Things whilst exhausted. Worst of all (for me), I ended up feeling like I'm out of alignment with what I teach other women.

Sometimes it feels SO hard to go counter to our culture... to ask for what I need, to listen to my body, to feel, to express, to say 'No', to be difficult, to appear indulgent (ugh!), to rest, to receive, to go inwards when I know its time for me to do so.

I brought this to my coach... all of my sadness about how I knew what my body was pleading for, how I had ignored it, and how out of integrity I felt as a result.

I realised (or is it remembered?) that surrendering to how the Wild Feminine wants to work me and work through me is what I'm devoted to.

It's sometimes difficult and scary - and I have to do it.

Just like my clients have to do what they came here to do.

Of course, we don't really HAVE to, none of us have to do anything... but then maybe we kinda do.

“What we can do, we must do: we must use what we are given, and we must use it the best we can, however much or little help we have for the task. What you have been given is a hard thing--a very hard thing... But my darling, what if there were no one who could do the difficult things?”

― Robin McKinley, Sunshine

* I know they love me too ♥️

Picture: Flaming June, by Frederic Lord Leighton (1830-1896)