What gold is buried deep in your shadow

By Lian Brook-Tyler

I’m back to Kung Fu for the first time in over 6 months… 

My children were just asking me why despite my many years of obsessive training in martial arts, I never formally competed.

The truth is I was terrified of being SEEN.

The thought of being in a ring surrounded by a crowd of onlookers scared me so much (waaay more than the thought of a kick to my face, which was fairly commonplace).

It’s hard for my children to relate to that old version of me… given they know me doing the work I do now, which requires me being seen constantly.

It’s taken a lot of years to fall in love with being seen but it took far more years first to understand that it’s what I was born to do (it’s often the case that we’ll have most shadow around our gifts).

Little by little, as I’ve integrated the shadow created by very real trauma that came from being seen, my mic and webcam have gone from enemies to allies to lovers.

Last year I began the work of taking to the stage (metaphorically and literally) in person too and I will continue to do so as the world opens up.

It’s probably come too late for me to star in the remake of Kickboxer but hey, I look much better without a gum shield anyway. 

Which of your greatest fears might be covering one of your deepest gifts?
♥️