Are you a wounded healer? Here's how you'll know... and how to heal

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Episode Transcript:

Lian Brook-Tyler  01:31

Hello, my beautiful people a huge warm welcome back. This show is for the old souls who often serve as the healers, teachers, coaches, community leaders and guides, which as you're listening to this, I suspect includes you. You are the mythical ones you are here to truly know yourself, to liberate yourself from wounding and conditioning to embody ancient ways alchemize for modern days, serving your unique soul's medicine to your community. Every soul comes into this world with our own unique medicine. The work for each of us is to uncover that medicine and become it in deep service. And yet, it's never been more challenging to become our medicine and now and there's never been more need for our medicine than now. This is the greatest challenge of our lives for the old souls in this new world. Which if you're one of us, you'll know all too well. Perhaps you're already working as a coach, healer, or practitioner of some kind. But you sense you're still selling your soul to some extent in order to conform to industry norms and cultural expectations. You're not yet fully clear on what your unique soul medicine is or how to honor and actualize it in your work. It is for this reason we created medicine. The Crucible that could be described as the jewel in our crown is for 11 people called to begin their deepest, most intimate and powerful journey, discovering your soul's purpose and becoming your unique medicine. And we are delighted let you know we have just opened the doors for enrollment for what will be the longest deepest medicine yet. It is now a full year long. We begin in January 2024. And complete in December. You can find out more and book your medicine illuumination call with me or Jonathan by going to wakingthewild.com/medicine now.  And now on to this week's show. It's my all day everything where I jam on a eclectic mix of topics. This is where you can get up close and personal with me get inside my head and heart and see what I'm up to, feeling and thinking about. The making of the show also as live in our Facebook group, typically on the first Thursday of every month at 5pm. UK time, as well as getting a sneak preview of the episode as I'm creating it. You can join me for the pre show party beforehand, you share what's coming up for you and ask me questions which I'll either answer there and then or I'll weave into the show itself. The group if you're not already a member is at facebook.com/group/wakingthewild.  So in this episode, I dive deep into all things wounded healer, including who is the wounded healer? Who are you if you are here to embody the wounded healer. And chances are you don't call yourself a healer, I didn't for a very long time myself. You might call yourself a coach, guide or some other kinds of teacher, leader or practitioner in the transformative healing arts. How to illuminate your core wound, the importance of your wound in your work and what happens when we bypass or deny the wound as many of us innocently do especially in spiritual circles, how to alchemize your wound into medicine. In other words, how you can heal the wound and serve others most deeply from it. This turned out to be perhaps my favorite ever episode. I know. And I've heard that those who join me for the live making and our Facebook group said it moved them deeply. My wish is that it calls your soul in whatever way is right for you, too. Let's dive in.  Hello, and welcome to October's I think I've got that right for change. October's all the everything. Welcome, welcome, welcome. I am overjoyed, and very excited and full of deep appreciation to be speaking about the wounded healer today. This is what, I am going to use the word archetype for a moment, but I'm going to say more about, even that word archetype in a moment. This is an archetype that one way or another, has been incredibly present. For, for me, for both myself and Jonathan, for many, many years. In that the crux of the work that we do in really all waking the wild crucibles even if it's not spoken about directly, the crux of all the work we do is ultimately that the medicine, the gift is in the wound. And, of course, in our crucible medicine, is very, very much focused on that. But really, it's a kind of, it's a backdrop to other work we do, even if that isn't the obvious focus of the work, it is kind of woven in. Because it's without having that understanding of ourselves of our soul. It it really keeps life at this kind of much more surface level. And as soon as we start to recognize ourselves in this like much deeper manner as souls, as souls who came here to have a particular kind of life, a particular kind of destiny, wounds and all, and start to relate to our wounds differently, that really is the crucible for everything. So again, this is this is an archetype and a context and a way of thinking and a way of being that has been present for us and woven into the work we do for many, many years. And this year, slowly, slowly, without me really knowing what was happening. This archetype of the wounded healer, and the myth of Chiron began speaking to me in a new way. And I've, over the years kind of like accepted, and this was hard in itself, I'm gonna bout to use a word that I really, really struggled to use for many years. I've accepted over the years that one of my gifts, part of my own medicine is being a channel for archetypes, archetypes that sometimes are for me personally, and sometimes therefore, the people we're working with in a particular crucible. And that, again, was a challenge for me to be with, initially, this sense of being this channel for the archetypes. And the interesting thing is, even though I've just said to you that for many years, we've worked with this notion of the medicines in the wound. The wounded healer, as an archetype in its own right, hadn't spoken to me in quite this way before. My sense is, I just wasn't ready for it, I needed the embodied power and the backdrop and the understanding of the different archetypes and how they call people into healing, into power. I needed that first is my sense, but who knows. So, over the course of this year, the wounded healer has been slowly speaking to me, calling me into different strands of understanding different aspects of it. It has been speaking to me via the stars. Astrologically has been speaking to me in the form directly of the centaur, which, as I'll talk about in a moment is is Chiron is the myth he was it was a centaur. It's been speaking to me very clearly in terms of like, this is ultimately the archetype that we have to make conscious to do the work we're doing. Very clearly, again, like directly coming through me in an embodied way. But honestly, I don't think I was ready to be to be present to because of what that brings. This notion of the wounded healer suggests it isn't the healed healer, and I wasn't ready to fully look that in the eye yet. So this again isn't a conversation I was ready for until now. And now here we are.  I want to say first and foremost, welcome to the spirit of the wounded healer, within and without. And I'm saying spirit right now because from a shamanic context, that's what we're talking about. Although I've used the word archetype, and it is an archetype, we're also talking about this spirit that is here gracing us with its wisdom with its power, allowing us to see what's possible, see the blueprints, see the pattern and how it relates to us in our lives. And so we could call the wounded healer a constellation, we could call it, we could call it very specifically a planet/planetoid, we could call it a myth, we could call it an archetype, we could call it a spirit, we could call it an energy. And whatever way that makes sense to you, and that might change as you're listening, allow that to be as it is, there is no need to kind of think, I don't know. For example, say the notion of an archetype really speaks to you. But looking at it astrologically doesn't, there'll be parts of this show that perhaps aren't for you, or aren't for you now, and that's okay to allow it to be what it is for you. But regardless how you relate to it, let's look at who the wounded healer is.  Who is this wounded healer. So first, let's look at it through the lens of the Greek myth of Chiron. Chiron was a center. The difference with Chiron was that whilst the other centaurs, as far as his myth was concerned, were wild and even Savage, known for violence known for lust. Chiron was different. He was he was wise, he was a healer. He was an astrologer, he was a teacher of many of the well known figures of that time that appear in other myths, including Hercules, which becomes important in a moment. So he was also a mortal, which also becomes very important in a moment. So he was this really well known figure of the time, before even the story I'm about to tell you happened. Now, because he was this healer, because he was this person who is very wise about how to use the herbs, the poisons, the different spirits of that world. He used them in all sorts of ways. There'll be so many different variations of this myth, I'm going to just choose one today to tell you.  So as a version of the myth goes, he made a particular poison. And it seemed interesting to notice he made this he made the poison. And it was all for the creature, the monster Hydra. And this poison ended up on an arrow that Hercules was going to use. And so it was Chiron that got the poison create the concoction to use in the arrow, and it was Hercules that had the had the bow and arrow. In a complete accident, a complete twist of fate. This wasn't something that had like an obvious cause or effect. This was an act of fate. Accidentally and depending on again, the version of the myth, this arrow pierced Chiron in the leg. And because of the potency of this poison, the wound was horrendous. And for all of Chirons wisdom, for all of his experience and knowledge, he could not cure this wound. So fast forward, however, many years depending on the story version we're telling, he got to the point where he was desperate, and yet, there was nothing he could do. He couldn't cure it, and also he couldn't die because he was immortal. He, he went to Zeus, the king of the gods, and again, depending on the version, he either asked for help to become mortal and therefore he could die or swap places with Prometheus who had stolen fire from the gods to give to humanity and have been thrown to the rocks to have his liver pecked out daily for the rest of his life because he was also well rested his life rest of eternity seems also immortal. So another version is he actually said he had swapped places, and said, I may as well be there for eternity because here I am, anyway, but let's set Prometheus free. And so at some point, there was this admission, this sacrifice, this giving over himself to the divine. So I'm gonna pause there with that myth, and I'm now going to talk about this from an astrological perspective.  So Chiron was, and depending on different viewpoints could be described as a very small planet, a planetoid, or a comet. And it was only discovered in the 1970s. And if you know me in numbers, I'm going to say 1977, I could be wrong. And Chiron was only discovered then and the interesting thing is, it has this like very odd movement, it doesn't have the usual kind of like circular movement, like many of these bodies do, it moves between Saturn and Uranus in quite an eccentric way. It really already brings this sense of like difference with it the way it moves. And it's a transpersonal planet is not a personal planet, like some of the others. And what that means is, it kind of only becomes into existence in this relationship to Saturn, which is a planet of kind of like making things known, making things real, making things material. And so this is kind of coming to our awareness, and then also what that brings is how it interacts with the other, the other bodies in the solar system. What this reveals to us, these are these are very recent findings. And I'm going to talk more about that later in the show.  Then I'm going to talk about this now, Shamanically. As you may know, a big part of my own life work is animism and very specifically shamanism and shamanic healing. Those of you that are familiar with shamanism likely will know there is a very, widely known across the world throughout history, notion of shamanic sickness. And this really is the wounded healer. And the reason is the wounded healer is the way the shaman learns to heal. The way that the shaman learns to work with and negotiate with the spirits of sickness is because they experienced them first. They were wounded in the same way first. And shamanic sickness, as the name suggests, it's not generally an enjoyable experience, it very much is an experience of deep, deep wounding. I shared on previous shows, and I likely will touch on this again, my own experience, which shamanic sickness was decades long, and at some points very, very intense. And this was me learning that intimacy with the spirits of sickness. And you could say there was a kind of like, since I've healed them, and yet have I have I, if I'm still in intimacy with them, if I'm still in some ways, experiencing them? Again, it brings about this notion of the wounded healer that the the medicine is in the wound, but it keeps coming from the wound. There isn't this kind of like, okay, it's all done. And now I'm going to move into his completely different life where I just don't have to be in relationship with those spirits or sickness anymore.  So again, these are like different lenses, all on this same spirit, the same archetype of the wounded healer. Now, I'm going to just ask this question that's probably on everyone's minds. Why is it even important to know about the wounded healer? Why do we need to know about the wounded healer? Why do we need to honor the wounded healer? Why do we need to embody the wounded healer? And it's a really good question because I'm not really marketing it am I? I'm not doing a great job of selling the wounded healer. And I'm going to share a quote by my beloved Jung on this. Who also did much work around this very archetype. Jung said the doctor And by doctor we could say, healer, medicine man or woman is effective only when he himself is affected, affected only the wounded physician heals. The doctor is effective only when he himself is affected, only the wounded physician heals. So, you can hear in that the suggestion of only the wounded healer is a healer. And when I say when I say healer, as you may have heard me talk about before, I don't really necessarily mean any of you that might go my other kinds of work the brings people towards wellbeing and wholeness, which really is like the deeper definition of healer, you may call yourself some kind of guide or coach or therapist, some kind of practitioner of some kind of transformative or spiritual work. So again, this is very much an archetypal level we're talking about. But really, if we're in that work of bringing people towards wholeness bringing people towards individuation with Union with our soul, we really are doing the work of healing. But there's no need to call ourselves healers. I only have recently I may not again in the future. There's personal reasons, partly because of this very work that we're talking about here with the wounded healer that I'm currently, you know, sometimes will describe myself as a healer. But it's not essential whatsoever. This is not what I'm talking about here isn't saying okay, by becoming aware, becoming intimate with the wounded healer, that means you also then therefore need to be a healer and call yourself a healer. I'm absolutely not saying that whatever. Whatever you currently identify as, as may well be what you continue to identify as, even as you do the work to become intimate with the wounded healer, which really is the work of you being able to serve as powerfully as you possibly can at the deepest level of your soul. So that's who the wounded healer is for that, who we're talking about. We're talking about the wounded healer is not really necessarily a healer, it could be a healer, but it really is someone who is in that work of serving others and guiding them towards wholeness. And I'm trying to see which which way to go next first.  Let's come to the wound, actually, let's come to the wound. So we've talked about who that wounded healer is. And we've talked about kind of why that's even important and also who you might, who you are, who you might be. And if we're then going to recognize, okay, you are the wounded healer, or you're being called to become intimate with the wounded healer. Of course, part of that is understanding what that wounding is. There was research done at some point in the last 3000 years, I think, I think it was in the last 20 or so years by someone called Alison Bar. And she did some one of like pretty good research on this idea of the wounded healer showing up in I think it was very specifically, initially I think it was around kind of psychotherapists, and how the wounded healer is shown up for them. And this is an exact line taken the research is the exact causes of the wounds vary enormously. The main categories are abuse, family life as a child mental ill health, social family life as an adult, bereavement, mental ill health. Others, as in the first version was themselves this version of mental health is others as in people in the family, for example. life threatening physical ill health related to other people, physical or ill health their own. And there's a kind of an other category, but you can see that the things I've already mentioned are very, very varied. And I guess most of us aren't going to have some sense of like, yeah, I know the kinds of things that happened to me. And the important distinction here is we likely you know, less we've had like a complete dissociation and kind of blocked something out completely via trauma. Most of us do have a sense of like particular experiences and events that we could describe as wounds. And yet, what I've absolutely seen both again, personally, but also the work that we do with people, particularly in medicine, is that it's only through this context of recognizing that the medicine is in the wound, we start to look into the wounds in a very different way. We relate to the wounds in a different way we relate to them. Again, even if we're not using this, these words were relating to the wounds as a wounded healer, who ultimately is looking for the medicine, to alchemize, to serve to others. So that's the first part. It's like, there's something distinctly different when we start to look at our wounds in that way. The other thing is that, as we as we start to journey in a very intentional, conscious way, which also has to be in the right circumstances. Again, when we're working in this way with others, there is absolute love and safety, we will go so slowly, so gently, with absolute unconditional love and acceptance, because it is the only way it will be safe enough for people to start to become aware of these deeper layers I'm about to talk about. So again, we can recognize this is like a layer of oh, this happened to me, it really takes that deep, deep like womb like holding to feel safe to start to spiral into what actually is the wound that lies beneath that kind of particular event. And I'm going to share with you just because again, I think it's helpful to see the different ways this can show up. Some of the things that I've experienced that absolutely, I could describe as wounds of like events and experiences that I would say are wounds. And then I'm going to share like how it's really taken years and years of work to really understand what what these were, what they created and where they came from. So I'm not going to like a huge amount of detail. So some things I'm going to share are, I guess, quite triggering, but I'm not going to go into huge amounts of detail.  So at very young age, I experienced sexual abuse. But it was actually more the backdrop or the kind of what happened as a result of that that was probably more traumatizing. And interestingly, was echoed as often is the case. Later on in my 20s There was a police investigation, a court case that was really interesting echoing in something that happened later on. So it was actually not just the abuse, but it was kind of like other things that then rippled out from it. Then when I was five, my parents separated and my father who was very strongly bonded to actually left but left the country as well. And I was absolutely bereft. So it was a real kind of abandonment wound. Then my father returned, I went to live with him. But then I was raised really, to a large extent, without a mother often we weren't living anywhere close, sometimes not even in the same country. And I also had a very, very loving childhood, a very kind of accepting childhood, but huge amounts of change. I think I counted up and again, me in numbers, I wouldn't take these figures too, too seriously. But I think I'd lived something like in 21 different places. And I say places because not all of them were houses 21 places by the time I was 18. So lots of lots of change. And then kind of in my early teens, I started to experience what we could call like psychic phenomena of all different kinds. You probably have heard me talk about some of these before, which were very scary, and I had no context for them. I had no understanding of that point of shamanism or anything else. I honestly just thought I was at risk of going crazy. I then started to become increasingly aware of my own differences to most of most people were certainly most children my age around me. So of course, as it turned out, I was very neurodivergent I have you know many different forms if we're kind of looking at through a kind of more like modern clinical lens. I'm diagnosed with autism, but I also have ADHD, dyspraxia, dyscalculia, which you can be very familiar with. That's the numbers thing. But back then I didn't know that's why I was so different. I didn't know why I struggled so much in certain kinds of settings. Why I make Mistakes That other people just wouldn't make. So I started become really aware of those differences but didn't know why. I was also bullied mercilessly, during a particular period at school in way, like physically, emotionally all sorts. I then had a big trauma event happened at 15. And again, in my 20s, which again, was that mirror of what happened when I was three, this particular event that happened in my 20s, it was another kind of like abusive attack, but also I almost died. And it rippled into this kind of, you know, police investigation court case, which was, you know, if anything more traumatizing, as a result of that I have 15 years of chronic facial pain and panic attacks. I also don't know if it's related or not, began to go deaf. And and then kind of most recently, that psychic phenomena became very, very disruptive that was kind of sort of like if I go through a kind of rough chronological order of things that could be described as like, traumatizing experience and events. That's most of them. So the reason I shared all that is, I probably have had a kind of like, unusually, for life of all these different experiences and events. And you know, I suspect many of the ones I've spoken about, some of you will have experienced those. And so, of course, I was aware of these, you know, I'm been in this kind of work for a long time, I understood these things that happened to me, what has taken many, many years, ongoing, and huge amounts of devotion and work is to understand the true spiritual wound that both cause them really, and this is what I'm going to come to in a moment caused them created them create the conditions for them, but also, that came about because of them. And I guess, put in kind of, like really basic terms. These things are very, very nuanced, and deep. But for me, this was a kind of like wound of my own sense of self, a really deep, like wounding of like, I don't even know who I am, I have the growing sense, I'm very different to most people. And it appears to be very unwelcome, and unwanted and even dangerous. But I don't really have this sense, I've got this deep, deep uncertainty about who I am. And this is kind of both exacerbated, but also kind of, I guess, two sides of the same coin. I'm also extraordinarily open and receptive to all sorts of other things, beings, human, non human, physical, otherwise, I'm very, very open and receptive. So these two different things are really the underlying fabric that was needed to be in place in order for many of those wounds to happen. So I want to come back again to that myth of Chiron that it was actually his own poison that caused the wound. This is possibly one of the most challenging aspects for us to journey with as we start to make conscious and be in loving relationship to our wounds, in order to be fully sovereign about that, to not feel like a victim to that there is a part of that kind of recognition that, okay, it's not to say that we're to blame. It's not to say that kind of like, as a human, we chose for these things to happen. And yet, they are the very stuff of our soul, we came into this, this lifetime, this body, this soul, with these particular traits, this particular kind of nature, these particular ways that were open, that set the scene for these events that were fated for us to then have the wound and then ultimately alchemize into medicine. So again, if that at the moment, it feels just too much, you know that that can be a very confronting thing to hear. You know, this idea of like, somehow we're responsible for horrendous things that have happened to us deeply abusive, damaging, painful, shameful things that happened to us. My invitation to you is to to recognize this absolutely isn't about blaming, it isn't about saying okay, you know, you chose that you created it, deal with it, is to just look at this with I guess, as much love And a softness to journey with this in a way that's kind of beyond my ability to even put this into words that makes sense to us as humans. This really is the stuff of souls, and the sovereignty of souls that only make sense as we start to get closer and closer to our soul. It's funny actually, I hadn't planned to share quite as much as I have about my own personal journey, but I hope there is something helpful in me doing so. So when we're looking at our core wound, we absolutely can look at it through this lens of what was that experience or event and that's certainly one of the ways that we work with it in medicine. But again, recognize there is these levels, these layers that we spiral down into, when the conditions are right, that will reveal more and more and more, far more beyond the kind of material understanding that we have. And like this happened, therefore, this is the wound. There's also something you may have heard me talking about recently, is where Chiron this planet/planetoid appears in our charts can bring an incredible illumination, a very clear illumination at both this cultural archetypal wound, but then also the way that's showing up for us personally, there will be all sorts of aspects of this, you know, it could be ancestral, it could be past lives, it could be that for whatever reason, we've come into this lifetime to alchemize and experience a particular species level wound. And again, at an astrological chart level, we can see this in a way that, honestly, I found quite mind blowing, I've been in conversations with many medicinal people, when I say medicinal people, people who are in this work this very work we're talking about, and seeing commonalities in their chart about their chiron placement that they are like, wow, this is mind blowing the accuracy. And I'm going to share, and what I would suggest you do is after the show, if you haven't already got an astrological chart, go run one. I don't have any affiliation with any one, but the one I quite like is astro.com. If you go to there's a section on there where you can go to free charts or charts for free, but I can't remember it's called charts or free charts, ask for an extended chart. And then when you get the results, there will be there kind of Mendala of all the astrological chart of yours there. And then, like a table below, which is quite helpful to identify the things I'm about to tell you. So I'm gonna give you a little kind of like, this is what you can go do afterwards. I'll also write this on the show notes so that you don't have to try and write down everything I'm about to say. So the different, of course, this is a much deeper, longer conversation. Of course, it brings in like, you know, your whole chart really is also important. But like again, if we just focus for the moment on this Chiron placement, your Chiron will be in a constellation in a sign. So you know Gemini, Pisces. And that is something because Chiron moves slowly again, it's got this very eccentric way of moving, but it moves slowly. And it will be in one sign for quite a long time. So you'll notice people of a similar age to have the same sign. So that's part of it. And if we recognize the way that the astrological chart works, a good way of holding it is the planet and this instance planetoid for chiron is like the actor, so we can see it as like a part of us a part of us and those of you that have journeyed with waking the wild are used to us talking this way like these kind of notion of like parts of us, like the inner child part of us. This is the wounded healer part of us. So chiron itself is that part of us that is the wounded healer. The sign, the astrological sign is like its role or its costume. So it's like the actor is now got dressed up into this costume to play a role. And so that role is whatever that particular sign is. So if it's Gemini, it would be a particular role it has that's around kind of mind and speech. So that's what it is. That's what the role is. And then the house is like the stage is the setting is like where where in life this action happening. And the houses are numbered one to 12. And so wherever House your Chiron is in is the place that this this particular wound, which again is expressed through the role, the concellation, and then the house is the place in your life that it would appear, so say, for example, it's in the seventh house. That's the house that is really about kind of union and partnerships and marriage. And so it would be that being a particular place that this wound is most felt.  Then, if you look atany of those aspects, like how it's relating to other planets, or your son and your son in particular, this is a thing I keep seeing. Often it's not, it's not always the case. And again, it may well be other tricky placements, where I don't have time to like really go into, but often I notice, people here to be wounded healers often have a particularly painful, and I say painful because it feels painful, aspect relating to their son. So personally, my chiron is in direct opposition to my son, and your son is really your identity, your sense of self. And so if you have some kind of conjunction with your sun, you can see it's going to have like a very strong effect. There's others too, like, for example, ones that relate to Saturn. But in short, they're the three things that if you go look up and again, I will put these on the show notes, you can then kind of go search them do some research in terms of that different different aspects of your Chiron placement and see what it reveals about your wounds, and therefore, of course, your medicine once alchemized. And this is something that we're really working with, with the people that are journeying with the mythical and will be joining with this in the next medicine really started to look at this on a deeper level. And related to that, of course, this has a kind of astrological link, we often work with human designs and Gene keys in the different waking the wild crucibles we run. And again, this is very much taken from the same data that you are, your astrological chart pulls from. But it is often gives another sort of like different archetype or learns different languaging. Richard Rudd, in particular, the creator and Channeler of gene keys have a really beautiful kind of mythos, poetic way of talking about these different archetypes, which again, are the planets, they are the planets. So they can be very revealing, and particularly, as they have this notion of like shadow and gift, so often talks about it in this way, where you can really see, oh, this is the wound. And this would be the medicine, again, particular placements within that really speak to the wounded healer aspect. And then lastly, a kind of more, I guess, is both a kind of general, but it's actually quite a deep inquiry is to recognize as is your journey through life? Where do you hide? And where do you prove. And these are different ways that like a shadow that wounding shows up. So hiding is the deflated into the shadow part where you shrink away, you tend to be self deprecating, humble, you tend to kind of not want to put yourself forward. And that's typically and often will have, let's not say we won't kind of move across often will have a particular place that we are more comfortable with my mind personally is the hiding in the kind of deflated end. The other end, of course, is the proving end, which is the what's known as inflated, which is much more kind of like, look at me, look how amazing I am. But both of them come from the wound, the both ways of either trying to like kind of like, oh my goodness, I don't want people to look at me, I'm not good enough, the wound is true. And at the other end is like I'm not going to be limited the wounds not true, I can't bear to be in relationship with it, I can't bear to be seen as that. So the both ways of protecting what hurts, protecting that wound because it's so painful. And so again, this is a kind of general ongoing inquiry where we can start to get like a deeper sense of this is this is really, of a deeper spiritual level, how this wound is showing up and therefore we can sort of track that back and start to know the source of the wound. And again, all of these are places that we journey deeply into in medicine because they all you know, whilst I can talk about them and you know, even just what you're hearing here, it's gonna be helpful. They really do require, like very attentive, loving, holding to be able to move through them in a way that feels safe.  Okay, I'm gonna take a mouthful of tea, and then get into why the wound is important your work and I'm sure you've already started to hear that some of why it's important. I'm going to talk about some very specific parts. Okay, so why is the wound important in our work for those of us that again, whether we call ourselves a healer or not, you know someone that's in that kind of change work, helping profession, whether it be a coach or therapist or some kind of spiritual practitioner? Why is this important to know about ourselves. And first, what I'll say is, particularly in some sort of spiritual circles, that can be this kind of like, bypassing or done denying the importance of the wound. And I've absolutely that's been true for me, too, when I first stepped into this work, it was very much from a kind of like, ascension spirituality path. And initially, it didn't even have a name, I was just blasted open to spirit on upon the death of my father. So it wasn't even like I had a name for it. But it was like, I've been just like, everything had changed. I've been healed of everything at once. And then different parts of my journey, I have kind of like deepening deepening experiences of that. And certainly in those years, and of course, we have a particular kind of nature that kind of lends itself to being able to dissociate, being able to bypass being rosy tinted, which I absolutely am, it really helps us to kind of go like, Okay, well, there is no wound, there's no healing to do, all we have to see is like, you know, whatever the form of spirituality, the different ways that funnily enough, I was told about an example of someone saying something today, you know, its just thought, you know, if I just can see, there's just thought, then I don't need to do anything more with it, I don't need to overthink it. Or if I can just know my sort of deeper hole, unbroken self, nothing else is needed. Of course, there's a further there's more truth to this. But paradoxically, it's both true and untrue. Because in order to experience ourselves as this perfect, bright soul, there is work to do first in the healing in the reclaiming. So the, again, it's often those of us that are in that work, that are even more likely to bypass and deny the wound. The challenge is, by doing so, is not only are we then not doing our own healing work, so we are actually you know, stunted to a large extent ourselves. It means that, even if we are doing, you know, really good work with other people, and I look back, and I think, you know, back in the early days before I was really in this work of understanding and healing my own wound, I was I was doing good work, I was having incredible results, often with clients. And yet I know, the level of potency of my medicine was just, I can't even find quite the right word to, to really indicate how different it is now. And this, again, is partly the me having alchemize that particular medicine, my wound, but it's also because my very being is more healed. And so I'm able to be with more I'm able to love more, I'm able to hold more. So this is why it again is so important for those of us that are here to be the healers, archetypally. This is why it's so important. I saw this quote, There was a chap that I can't remember the book and his name, I may be mispronouncing it something like Henry Nouwen. And he wrote a book about the wounded healer, I haven't read it, but I came across this quote, Nobody escapes being wounded. We are all wounded people, whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. The main question is not, how can we hide our wounds? So we don't have to be embarrassed. But how can we put our woundedness in the service of others, when our wounds cease to be the source of shame, and become the source of healing, we have become wounded healers. And I love that because there is again, this recognition that this is true for all of us. The choice is whether we actually decide I'm going to enter that wound. I'm going to be honest about the fact that wound is there. And again, it can be most difficult for those of us that aren't putting ourselves out there as the people to help others. And again, going back to our saying the shadow pole is kind of like hiding and proving this is this is asked when we're being embarrassed about our wound is like, I can't bear to be in intimacy with it. I can't bear other people to see it. And therefore we'll be in this like compulsion to keep acting out the same patterns. But when we start to be really honest, like the wounds are there, the wounds are there, and I'm going to devote my life to our customizing and be a source of healing for others. That's where we've become the wounded healers. Okay. How am I doing for time as ever? I've got no no idea, I think maybe quite a long time. Okay, right. Where should I go now? Oh, I've got another quote for you. This is Marie Louise von France, which is a someone who amazing, amazing woman and very close to Jung. And the quote goes, the wounded healer is the archetype of the Self. And by that really, we could say soul, in brackets, it says our wholeness the God within and is at the bottom of all genuine healing procedures. The wounded healer is the archetype of the self, our wholeness the God within and is at the bottom of all genuine healing procedures. And so it's through this recognition of that wounded healer inside, we're also becoming intimate with our soul. It is at the bottom of all genuine healing procedures. And it means for us, first and foremost, it really is the healing of ourselves. Albeit again, there's this paradox that we stay wounded, which is what I'm about to get into. So again, talking about the shaman again, it is the shamanic sickness is this relationship with the spirits that makes the shaman. This is again, this is the hero's journey and descent into the soul, the place you will meet the divine. It really is like this is the journey for ourselves. First and foremost. There's, there's a Rumi quote that we actually use on the medicine page, I think my two been the guest on this week's podcast that quoted this, Maggie White House. So Rumi said, The wounds are the places where the light enters. And so this means that place that we are most cracked open, most broken, is also the place where we can both be cracked open to love, both being open to receiving love. And here I'm talking about love of the Divine, but also to be able to beam out into the world. It happens simultaneously, happening simultaneously. And again, I think it's so helpful to recognize that it's, it's only by recognizing ourselves as wounded. But this becomes possible this opening this vulnerability becomes possible. So lastly, so how do we heal? How do we and really what I'm talking about here is how do we alchemize that wound into medicine? Actually, another Jung quote, so he talked about inflation, and Jung warns of the dangers of inflation, and projecting this notion of where the healed healers and they are the wounded they being our clients, our patients, our our students, the way that we will project that wound on to the patient and hit me over here, the healer is separate. And this is one of the reasons that knowing ourselves as the wounded healer really allows us to be in be in relationship to reality as it is not in this kind of like deflator or inflation, this real knowing of like, this wound has to stay present, we have to stay intimate with it in order for it to continue to be medicine. So going back to the Chiron myth, if you remember, he never healed, Chiron couldn't heal, it never healed. What he did do is gave himself over to the divine. And again, that's what really feels it is a kind of like an acceptance, a deep, deep, deep acceptance of, I am wounded. There's also again complete submission to the Divine to the point where he actually gave his life up. And this I feel is a real. Again, the way the wounded healer is showing us the way this at an archetypal level is not literally obviously, that you're going to give your life up to die. But to give your life over to the Divine to be in deep acceptance of the wound as it is, is the past, is the North Star. So one way of describing this is rather than looking at this kind of like idea of like, How can I, how can I get rid of this wound? How can I fix this wound? Even how can I cure this wound? There? Is this, like, how can I care for it? How can I bring complete love for it? So one of the examples I gave personally was being neurodivergent. And that's obviously created some very, very challenging experiences over my life. And even now, it can be, it can be something that isn't always a breeze. Even today, I had a power cut and I went to a coworking space for the first time in many, many years, maybe even decades. And Jonathan booked it for me, and I said, Is it possible to find one that I can take a dog and the reason I asked that was because I knew that if I could take my dog with me, it would really allow me to like regulate and kind of like have that sense of like this other being with me, that would make that transition into a completely different space, which was actually a beautiful space really friendly, it was actually a lovely experience, I knew having my dog with me, would make that something that would be much easier for me to kind of like open and settle into. And so this the wound, if we, if we call neuro divergence a wound, and you know, hey, it's not necessarily the right language, but in terms of like, it is an experience, my soul came here for that A times can be deeply painful and deeply shameful. It isn't about curing that it's about caring for it, becoming intimate with it, becoming familiar with it. And from there, I'm able to bring that to others with the same wound. We can also look at it in terms of sometimes it's said we we really are when we're working with other people we do so from the scar rather than the wound as in then that is the notion of like, there has to be some healing first. But there does need to be some healing first, there needs to be this again, Reclamation from the shadow this pulling back of our soul parts. But we think of it even we're talking about a scar. It's not like a scars invisible. I physically hurt my knee. A couple of birthdays ago, really badly I slipped I came out of a hot tub slipped on the wet patio, went down on my knee, and my knee was gushing, literally gushing blood. Long story short, it needed to be stitched up and stuff is now got a blooming gray birthday souvenir of a scar on my knee, which actually happens to match with one that I did when I was a child on the other knee. And it not only has a scar, it actually you know, it's quite painful still, sometimes sometimes when it's cold weather or from going upstairs and I'm putting weight on it, I can still feel it. So it has healed. And yet it hasn't, it is a scar. I'm still aware of it. I still have vulnerability there. And I think that is a good metaphor for how we relate to our wounds. It isn't kind of like right, I'm done. I'm all mended, I'm now able to go out and heal those poor buggers who haven't mended yet. There is a real humility, vulnerability and intimacy, a deep, deep real intimacy with the wound that we bring with us.  So finally, it is knowing ourselves as the wounded healer, honoring that importance of the wound and our work as we do that, the more our souls will lead us in the direction of both our own healing, but also empowering the work we do with others. And what I've seen is that just is the gift that keeps on giving. Again, years into this journey myself where I have alchemized more of my wound into medicine than I really would have ever believed. And yet, again, even now telling you at the beginning of this podcast the way the wounded healer has been speaking to me so clearly. This is more work for me to do more healing more for me to see. The reason it took me so long to really hear the way the wounded healer was talking to me it was because I wasn't ready to relate to myself as a wounded healer. It's taken it's taken years for me to even recognize myself as a healer. That was if you're seeing my video, you probably would have seen me do a bit of a grimace even now, but there was a kind of like, Oh, am I really like saying that there was a there's a kind of some kind of comedy in the fact that I trained for years deep, challenging initiatory work to become a shamanic healer. All the while saying I'm not doing this to become a shamanic healer, I've got zero intention of being a shamanic healer. And yet, that's what I began doing. But the funny thing was, even then, it was like somehow separate to me, there's a whole idea of shamanism healing. It was like I knew that I was called shamanism. I didn't know I was being called to healing. Until I finally was ready to know that about myself. Knowing myself as the wounded healer is a whole nother level of healing. To be again, that humble that vulnerable that in relationship to my own pain and shame. That's, that's the work. That's the work as far as I can see for all of us. Okay, so I feel like I've journeyed so deep, I'm kind of like having to gather myself to kind of come back up to the surface. So I would say if you're, if you're healing, hearing something I've just said healing. Okay, so our mind instead of hearing, if you're hearing the call of the wounded healer, and also totally respect, if you're like, you know what, hell no, I'm not ready for that. There's just so much in what you've said, that's triggered the hell out of me, I'm not interested, I honor you, I have been there. And I do not say that in a patronizing way at all. honor yourself, honor what's right for you. However, if you are feeling that sense of I know, this is for me, even that choice to honor the wounded healer, in whatever way is right for you. It could be to put a representation, I've given you several different ways that the wounded healer can be related to, it could be placing a symbol of the wounded healer on your altar. It could be doing what I've suggested in terms of looking at how this shows up for you, astrologically. But really recognizing again, owning like I am here to be the wounded healer in itself is alchemy starting to happen in itself is you relating to your wounds differently. I would also say if this is if this really is a part it's calling for you. Joining us in medicine, which begins in January, could be the exact right crucible for you to do this work. Again, it's really is what that work is it's everything we've just been talking about. And far, far more a lot of the kind of, I guess you could say sort of more practical material ways of once we have this sense more medicine and start to alchemize you're how do we be that in the world? How do we serve that? How do we work through all the other like frustrations and obstacles and you know stuff about money and selling all the things that come up as well. But again, if you're feeling the call to medicine, honor that too. And it's not like you need to know for sure. And right now Jonathan and I are offering medicine illumination calls its with us personally. And this is an opportunity for first and foremost for you to be heard. And really seen. Jonathan, I have very different gifts in terms of the way that we work with people the way we see people. Jonathan has you may have heard me talk about it before. It is like a ridiculously magical gift of being able to see people in a way where he can instantly sometimes see things like different types of neuro divergences, different archetypes, he just knows like that. My seeing is different I see very much in patterns. I see shadow very clearly, I see where there's lost soul parts. I can see the kind of like, if someone's here, this is what's here for them. This is what's here for them. So we see very differently, but in that call, we will be really looking at you and seeing you at that soul level. And fundamentally, whether you firstly are here to be that wounded healer to be your medicine, but also whether it is you know right for you. There is no sense in us that we kind of like want to push people into this journey. And when it's not right for them, or when it's not the right time for them. So even if, for example, you are the wounded healer, it doesn't necessarily mean it's the right time for you to join us. So that's what that call is for very that I keep going to, like keep feeling things and thinking, What's the word for that. It's like a very delicate, very delicate, almost like working with spiderweb, or butterfly wings, which is really almost like the stuff of the soul. It's like really beautiful, delicate strands that we are working with, and get to a place where it's clear is it aligned for you to join us or not? So if you're feeling the call to have one of those conversations with myself or Jonathan, you can firstly go find out more about medicine at wakingthewild.com/medicine. And you'll see on there, there is a button that says something like book, your medicine iluimination Call, click that, and you can book or straight into mine or Jonathan's diary, I think it just automagically goes into one or the other depending on kind of what date time or date you choose, that works for you. And then we'll speak to you and we will discover if indeed it is aligned for you join us in January. And I think that's everything. I think that's everything. And thank you so much for joining me and being part of it. Again, it feels like there's a real honoring being called forward from the collective to honor the wounded healer. That's what I'm really feeling. There's like a personal call for some of us. But there is something going on deeper right now. Where there is like a deeper energetic happening, where this wound and the notion of the wounded healer is very, very present at the moment. And so thank you for being with me, as I'm doing my kind of small part in honoring the wounded healer. I honor the wounded healer in you. And I really hope again, whether you join us or not that you listen to that call of your soul in whatever way is right for you. Thank you so much for joining me and I hope to see you again next month haven't yet got the date. But we'd love you to join me for the pre show party for the next all the everything and I'm sending you all my love, thank you so much. Goodbye.  So that's all for this month, I would love to know what you took from this show. If you'd like to share what came up for you the waking the wild Facebook group is the perfect place to do so. And the link for that is facebook.com/group/wakingthewild. And that's also where to join me if you wish to for the live making of next month's show. It's typically it does vary. But it's typically on the first Thursday of every month at 5pm. UK time. And as well as getting a sneak preview of the episode as on creating it. You can also join me beforehand for the pre show party, which is always lots of fun to share what's coming up for you and ask me questions which I'll either answer there and then or I'll weave into the show itself. If you'd like to get notes and links for everything we spoke about this week. And there's several actually I've also made a note of the how to understand those different aspects of your current placement. And that's all at Wakingthe wild.com/podcast/428. And as you heard me speak about so much during that episode. If you are ready to discover your soul's purpose and become your unique medicine, embodying that blessed archetype of the wounded healer unashamedly of medicine in its own right. We have opened enrollment to medicine 24 And you can book your medicine illumination call with me or Jonathan by going to wakingthewild.com/medicine now really looking forward to speaking to you. If you don't want to miss out on next week's episode, head on over to Apple podcasts, stitcher or your app of choice. Hit that subscribe button and you'll get each episode straight your device automatically as soon as it's released. Thank you so much for listening. You've been wonderful. I'm sending you all my love, and I'll catch you again next wild Wednesday.

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