I’ve been judged and misjudged for a lifetime… too this and too that.

This week I walked into a mobile phone shop and asked for help, explained I’m autistic and that “I struggle with things like this.”

Like many of you, I’ve practised accepting myself, seeing through the illusion of myself, liking myself, losing myself, transcending myself and loving myself.

And what’s creating the most expansion for me is: being in full, deep approval of myself.

I was talking to a beloved client about her story of becoming free of judgement about her body (she has a powerful offering to guide other women on this journey that’s being birthed soon ♥️).

And it got me pondering further my own journey with this, which is something I’ve been waiting for the right moment to talk about for some time.

“The syntactical nature of reality, the real secret of magic, is that the world is made of words. And if you know the words that the world is made of, you can make of it whatever you wish.” Terence McKenna

An important aspect of the work that we do at Waking The Wild, both our own inner work and the work we do with others, is about the words used to create ourselves and the world.

I remember saying a few times in the years leading up to the rebirth of Waking The Wild “I think I’ll feel like an entirely different woman afterwards!”

As I’m sitting here in my typical spot on a Wednesday afternoon - my usual table in my favourite Thai place - I’ve been checking in with the veracity of that prophecy.

The different zones from Incompetence to Genius are something that the Waking The Wild Medicine ‘22 circle are in the enquiry of right now.

The method comes from Gay Hendrick’s book The Big Leap, and the different zones could be described thus:

1. Zone of Incompetence: Activities that other people can do better than you.

At any one time, the good ship Waking The Wild carries between twenty and thirty souls, depending on the crucibles that are in play, with thirty being the absolute maximum.

The upper limit is fully intentional, based on how many people Waking The Wild can hold so that every person, passenger and crew, can be met in the moAs much as I’m a huge advocate, teacher and practitioner of doing the deep inner work, sometimes the answer we’re so desperately searching for in the next coach, teacher, or method that’s promising to be the magic bullet, is as simple as: Keep going.

At any one time, the good ship Waking The Wild carries between twenty and thirty souls, depending on the crucibles that are in play, with thirty being the absolute maximum.

The upper limit is fully intentional, based on how many people Waking The Wild can hold so that every person, passenger and crew, can be met in the most powerful, loving and aligned way during their time onboard with us.

One of the ‘trademarks’ of Waking The Wild is the distinction we make between paying the Sovereign Price or the Victim Price.

As we’re journeying deeper into sovereignty in WTW Medicine, this choice is coming up over and over for the circle.

In fact, I just posted this in the Medicine fb group:

I dance most mornings, usually naked (I threw on this scarf when this post came through and decided to capture the moment with a photo!), often in front of the mirror.

As I dance, I bring awareness… I notice how my body feels and also how it looks.

I’ve always had a good relationship with my body, which is rare and fortunate, I know.

It’s so interesting having memories like this come up - ie written before the autism diagnosis in May ‘21.

To a large extent, I’d already accepted my quirks, and the experiences, gifts and challenges they’d created over my life, even though I hadn’t yet fully understood the reason for them.

(I could have waited until it’s 10 years to write this but it felt right to do it now - see #8)

1. Creating a successful business takes time. I remember being about 2 years into running my own business and sharing the challenges with a close friend, she recalled that her father said it typically takes 3 years for a business to become successful, that was so helpful to hear back then. And…

I chuckled seeing this photo yesterday… it was taken at a megalithic temple and I was feeling quite the intrepid Indiana Joneseque explorer.

It got me pondering that the archetype of the Pioneer is one that I’ve spent a lifetime learning to love the shape of.

We waited for the millennium,

the apocalypse,

the great reckoning,

and didn’t recognise it

when it came.

I’ve just realised that I didn’t personally share this episode (link in comments) I recorded with my beloved Lucy Pearce at the time we released it a few weeks ago… it wasn’t a conscious decision not to, I share episodes to my timeline quite rarely, though this was obviously much closer to home than most so maybe there was a subconscious hiding at play.

“Thank you for your posts. I’m finding sanctuary in them as I wait for the appointment to find out the results of my autism evaluation.

The result doesn’t matter in a way and in a way it supremely matters.

Recently, author and fellow autistic woman Lucy Pearce and I recorded a podcast episode about “How neurodivergent women can light the way for each other and the world”.

We’ve had so much amazing feedback on it (particularly from women who never even realised they were ND until listening) that we’re planning a part 2.

Many times a day, I pause to check in with how my body feels.

This is so automagical for me these days that it’s hard to remember that I used to spend most of the time completely disassociated from my body.

I happened to share the memory of my father crying with the Medicine circle earlier and then happened to see the writing below that mentions the very same memory.

Two happeneds make magic, of course.

DIFFERENT 

I’ve known for many years that the voice of Soul and Spirit is quiet, sometimes imperceptible, when we’re numbed and seduced by life in this crazy modern world.