We waited for the millennium,

the apocalypse,

the great reckoning,

and didn’t recognise it

when it came.

I’ve just realised that I didn’t personally share this episode (link in comments) I recorded with my beloved Lucy Pearce at the time we released it a few weeks ago… it wasn’t a conscious decision not to, I share episodes to my timeline quite rarely, though this was obviously much closer to home than most so maybe there was a subconscious hiding at play.

“Thank you for your posts. I’m finding sanctuary in them as I wait for the appointment to find out the results of my autism evaluation.

The result doesn’t matter in a way and in a way it supremely matters.

Growing up with a father with a genius IQ who lived and breathed numbers (he taught maths and physics), when despite my perfectly fine intellect, I struggled with telling the time, telling left from right, or the most basic mental arithmetic (I often use my fingers to count beyond 5 even now), I knew there was something at play.

Recently, author and fellow autistic woman Lucy Pearce and I recorded a podcast episode about “How neurodivergent women can light the way for each other and the world”.

We’ve had so much amazing feedback on it (particularly from women who never even realised they were ND until listening) that we’re planning a part 2.

Many times a day, I pause to check in with how my body feels.

This is so automagical for me these days that it’s hard to remember that I used to spend most of the time completely disassociated from my body.

Before I went to bed last night I was reading a book for the *partners* of autistic women (such an autistic woman thing to do), and then spent my dreams giving three different TED talks on our sensitivities, lack of guile or filter, and our seeming ill fit for this modern material world.

I happened to share the memory of my father crying with the Medicine circle earlier and then happened to see the writing below that mentions the very same memory.

Two happeneds make magic, of course.

DIFFERENT 

This is one of my most used phrases which has become an iconic and much-quoted Waking The Wild term, so much so, it’s frequently abbreviated to “MfL” (which can also been read as “mother f*cking love” - which actually has much the same energetic!)

I saw it was International Son’s Day yesterday and didn’t feel moved to take notice of it.

Then this morning a friend posted some photos of her sons and I noticed how my heart glowed upon feeling her unreserved, unconditional love for her grown-up boys, a.k.a. men.

I happened to see this old photo of me yesterday, thinking I must have seemed like I was bursting with confidence, what with strutting along a wall in just a bikini top and white hot pants.

Much of the work we do now is guiding magical people from being cookie cutter coaches into being their soul’s unique medicine…. A journey summed up here in a handful of words and yet it can be long and arduous, it requires diving into their deepest wounds and being initiated into their power in ways their soul chose but their human wouldn’t.

The 10 year anniversary of my father’s death, the 3rd September, found me being the truth of my soul to a depth I’d never before experienced.

It wasn't a coincidence.

It was his legacy.

We’re just entering Money month (one of my fave topics but then I often seem to find myself saying that!) in Waking The Wild Medicine, which is the crucible devoted to supporting magical people to discover and become their medicine and create enchanted, heart-centred businesses serving their soul clients.

I’ve known for many years that the voice of Soul and Spirit is quiet, sometimes imperceptible, when we’re numbed and seduced by life in this crazy modern world.

Making the right choices for YOU is about knowing the difference between your 3 types of needs:

Needs that are Primal, e.g. for your human to survive.

Needs that are from Shadow, e.g. created by conditioning, trauma or ancestral wounds.

That might sound like a strange collection of words to put together and yet, in my work they make for such easy bedmates, they’re more like soul mates (we’ll ease into the scarily woo matter of ‘soul’ gently, leaving that to the end.)

As part of my year-and-a-day long commitment to the Fire, I decided to have weekly saunas, which will be interspersed with sweat lodges with my shamanic family.

As part of the work we do to unite people with their soul, I lead them through journeys into different experiences.

Some of these journeys are called guided visualisations, though I’ve known for many years that not everyone can visualise clearly and I’m continually adapting how I create these experiences to powerfully work for people who hear, feel or know instead of see.

Today is the first day of my month-long sacred pause… no teaching, no podcasting, no guiding… instead I will be devoted to my family, my home life and my own shamanic practice.

I’m beginning the month by re-reading my teacher, Jez Hughes’ first book.